This is it...
THIS IS THE END...
This is my farewell to The Chosen One...
I remember the last person I've, *ahem*, felt something like this before. There was a final act. It wasn't a graceful one, though. It was pretty emotional. I remember the day clearly. It was a November afternoon back in 2012. Two of my good friends and I were walking outside the school right after having lunch. We haven't talked about that certain person for quite some time but, somehow, we got to talking about him and something that happened to him that time. We already knew about it a month or so before and we've already talked about it several times. There wasn't anything different about the way we were talking about it but something triggered a part of me that just led to a breakdown. I was trying not let my tears fall since we were out in public but I was already too overwhelmed. My friends weren't expecting me to react like that. They apologized for talking about it but it wasn't their fault. I guess I was holding things in too much. THAT was the final act... That emotional breakdown... After that, everything suddenly got better... A better me and a better rekindled friendship.
I was waiting for something like that for this current "thing." I was already expecting something emotional. Flashback to that one entry I wrote when I got emotional listening to "his music." Maybe that's why I thought that I was last straw. I already knew that time, though, that it wasn't. But, again, THIS TIME... I'm certain that this is the final curtain call.
It came to me in, I guess, the most superficial thing. I did something right after writing the first "Twist" entry... Because my friend forced me to. She told me to do it so that I could cheer myself up. It was time to make myself happy, she said. So, I did it. I got favorable results the next day so... No regrets. But the days following it, I gradually felt like that spark was getting dim. The excitement, the thrill of waiting to see if he'd do what I did is gone... Just gone...
The magic has faded...
I'm not under his spell anymore...
The feeling is gone...
Honestly, I feel bad for finally admitting this... Mainly because of all the admissions I've done. The things I've said about how he came to be The Chosen One... MY Chosen One... MY first choice... I mean, I knew this time will eventually come because, like I've said before, I'm going down a one-way street but I never really expected it to be over so soon. Maybe this is how things are if you fall for someone you BARELY know. There are no bases for the feelings to linger for a long time.
I'm pretty sure I never used "LOVE" in any of my entries about him... Pardon my harsh honesty but I know it was never love. You may not have noticed it but I was really careful in describing how I felt about him. Just because I said I fell for him doesn't mean I fell in love with him... That's why I always end in "fall." I was never in love. It was just a strong, unexplainable attraction... Which started with that thing he wears which looked like something Jared Leto wore. Ha! A shallow reason which led to deep dive.
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| A quotation posted by one of my Facebook contacts. Waiting was my optimistic move. It's time to move on now, though. |
I'm letting this go... This feeling... I'm letting it go... For real, this time.
I'm thankful because I was introduced to that bright smile.
I'm thankful for the way he made me feel because, for the first time, I felt like I was an option.
I'm thankful because I've never learned so many lessons from one experience.
I am thankful.
From this point on, The Chosen One will be just like the other person I mentioned in this entry. He will just be a reference... A future reference which will, hopefully, help me to commit less mistakes.
No more curtain calls.
No more encores.
This is The Chosen One's final bow.
